The English TVCs analyse Indian Cricket

The first day of the Second Test between Indian and Australia just ended. Australia declared their first innings at the end of 85th over with their score at 236 for 9. India ended the day at 5 for no loss after 3 overs. The English TVCs analyse the same.

First TVC: After Australia scored an historical 236 for 9, India ended the day at a dismal 5 runs. While the Australian skipper scored a charming 91, the Indian skipper dropped a few chances. I cried when he reminded me of his predecessors Allan Border, Slater, Waugh and Ponting at the post match conference. The Indian team on the other hand is in a disarray. Their star bowler who took 12 wickets in the previous match just took 1 wicket. Sources say there was a massive row between the star bowler and the skipper. All told Australia may not have done as badly as they seem to have but India did not do badly.

Second TVC: Your TVC has sent a team to Australia and our Star Reporter has spoken to Ponting on Telephone.

Reporter: Mr. Ponting. Are you The Ricky Ponting.

Ponting: You will have to talk to Cricket Australia to find that out.

Reporter: Mr. Ponting. Is the team currently in India the official team?

Ponting: You will have to talk to CA to check that out.

The CEO who is also the Star of the TVC butts in and asks the reporter about the team.  The reporter takes out an official looking paper and immediately the Camera pans to the paper and each name is highlighted as the reporter reads out the name.

The CEO then asks:

1. Is it true that India could not get the 10th and last wicket of Australia? If not why not?

2. Is it true that the Star bowler did not bowl more than 15 overs, the lowest? If not why not?

3. Is it true that the most successful bowler did not bowl more overs than the least successful bowler? If not why not?

This is on a loop and runs continuously

Third TVC:


India fails to get the crucial 10th wicket. It also fails to overhaul the Australian total. Leave alone overhaul they did not even manage to get the measly 38 runs to avoid the follow on. And remember they had 18 balls to do it. And it is a week end. Time for Old Monk and Mohd Rafi. Good Night.

Wife: I got an invitation to the dinner for the visiting australian team. Any guesses what I am going to wear?

Trader on Twitter:

Do you know that each of the top 8 Australian batsmen scored more runs than the highest run scored by the Indian Batsmen.

Do you know Dhoni dropped more catches than what Wade dropped.

Do you know Australia has won more matches than India will ever win

Blogger’s Note: Unable to report more as I have been blocked

Jai Ho


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