Why the UPA rocks – 4

Why the UPA rocks – 4

S. M. Krishna was given the additional charge of securing the bid for Delhi the 2024 Olympic games. He led a large contingent and had indicated to them when to applaud. He started reading out his speech. He said “O” and the team applauded. He again said “O” and the team went into raptures. Again he said “O”. Applauses brought the roof down. When he said “O” for the fourth time, his secretary came and whispered in his ears, “Sir! Those are the Olympic rings. You need not read them.”

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Impressed by Manish Tiwari’s ability as a spokesman defending the UPA even on occasions where they were clearly indefensible, he was made the Head of a Delegation of Industrialists visiting US. The Head of US team, Chinese team which was also on visit and Manish Tiwari had a private dinner. The American boasted, “The Rubber Boots we make are so good, a man wearing it fell down a 50 storey building. His boot got caught on a long rod in 25th floor, but held his weight till the fire engine came and rescued him.” The Chinese said “Similar thing happened in our country. But the rubber stretched so much that he was able to touch ground normally and walk away.” Manish Tiwari said, “Same thing happened in Delhi. The man hit the pavement and died immediately.” The other two were perplexed and waited breathlessly for his next statement. He said “But thanks to Shiela Dikshit’s good purchase policies the shoe did not even have a scratch.”

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Three Diplomats – one each from U.K. , France and India were going around a museum enjoying the paintings there. They came across a beautiful painting of Adam and Eve in paradise which was very natural. Both Adam and Eve looked very lively and this prompted the British Diplomat to say, “Adam must have been an Englishman. Look how stately he is despite being naked.” The French Man said, “He must be French. Look how lovingly he looks at Eve.” The Indian said, “He is certainly Indian.” The other two asked him, how he could be so sure. The Indian Diplomat explained, “He has nothing to wear. He does not have a roof to live under. He has only 1 apple for him and his wife. Yet he is so happy.”

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Sibal fresh from his success in launching RTE was given the additional responsibility of solving the food problem. He had a very intensive session with the departmental secretaries and came up with the solution of converting shit into butter. After six months he convened a meeting of the relevant secretaries. First he was told we are roughly at the same stage as RTE. Not satisfied he wanted a detailed update. The status update ran thus:

The Bad News: It is still shit.

The Good news: We are able to spread it.

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Earlier posts in this series:

1.   Why UPA Rocks – 3 Mamata Special – Click here.

2.    Why the UPA rocks – 2 – Click here.

3.    Why the UPA rocks – 1 – Click here.

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