BCCI Subcontracts Press briefing to Congress

After the recent debacles the Indian Cricket team is finding it very difficult to meet the press. The BCCI has decided to subcontract the job of handling press to Congress. A preview of what will happen:

Renuka Chaudury : Arnaaab, the score sheets have just come. We are yet to read them.How can you expect us to comment about it.

Jayanthi Natarjan: Why is the opposition trying to politicize this match?

Pranab Mukherjee: It would be wrong to say, we lost this match. The opposition won. In every match there will be a winner and a loser. It would be wrong for the opposition to gloat over it.

P. Chidambaram: There was no failure. We did not win.

Kapil Sibal: There was Zero Loss. If there was any loss Gavaskar must apologise to Dhoni. After all it is the Border Gavaskar trophy.

Manish Tewari: (with a smirk) You haven’t seen how badly the Kapil’s team lost in England in 1990. World Cup 2007 under Dravid.(He he he). And remember the 1975 and 1979 World Cup. We did not even win a single match. Lost to even SriLanka  … The opposition has a lot to answer.

MMS: With every loss the margin of defeat is getting lesser. By 2108 we will start winning. But something needs to be done about English Cricket. I am flying immediately to England. …

Teesta: Why balme Dhoni. It is Narendra Modi who is responsible for all this.

Arnab : (To Saurav Ganguly) You Sir.What have you done to reverse all this. Saurav and Dhoni both have let down this country. Harangues Saurav for the next hour.(Incidentally the programme was an half an hour programme).

Barkha Dutt: It is really sad that the Indian team is losing like this. (Wipes her tears) But I am going to Dubai. The Pakistan team is doing well and will interview Imran Khan about it. May be Zaheer Abbas too. Wish me folks.

Sagarika Ghose: I have been invited to the Awards Ceremony and I will be wearing a saree to it. You can watch me on CNNIBN. The Australian PM will be there with me.

Rajdeep Sardesai: Sachin may not have hit his 100th Century but Saraswat Brahmins have hit 100 Centuries. You Rightwing Casteists…. Good Night.

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