Every Dog has its Day

This is my first Original work that I wrote in March 2007. Posted in honour of the Dog that did a Victory Lap on the F1 track.

 

Every Dog has its Day

 

This country has gone to dogs On 28th Feb 2007, B Day (Budget day) there were two news items that flashed across the net.

One was the reduction in import duty for dog food announced by Shri P Chidambaram and the other is the item quoted blow : “The Jaipur Municipal Corporation’s (JMC’s) animal control and protection committee had proposed a hefty hike in the annual registration and renewal fee per pet dog, which was approved by the corporation, JMC officials told IANS. Presently a dog owner pays Rs. 5 as application fee and Rs. 10 as registration and renewal fee per year. The latter will now go up to Rs 200. Jaipur has lately emerged as one of the biggest centres for dog lovers, with a business of over Rs. 10 million per year.

According to the new proposal, pups cannot be separated from their mother for the first three months. Also, JMC officials will now undertake door-to-door surprise checks on the registration of dogs. Defaulters will be penalised and their dogs seized, officials said.”

Chidambaram has been in the dog house for his inconsiderate remarks on bringing down price of dog food when more than half of india is dog tired working to earn atleast one meal a day. Following is the excerpt from the soon to be filmed edition of Big Bite, sorry Big Fight featuring burkha dutt and a few others. Burkha introduces the topic. But before she completes Chidambaram comes up with statistics on how many countries have more liberal duty structure for dog food. Brinda Karat interrupts him and gives a long lecture on the need for protecting the local pet food industry against MNC predators.

Burkha asks brinda if they would withdraw support for the UPA government on the issue of inflation issue. Cho ramaswami snidely says “You can count on the communists to run with the hares and hunt with the hounds”. Maneka Gandhi defends BJP saying that while BJP has taxed rich dogs (in Jaipur) while the congress supported by the communists are giving sops to high breed dogs at the cost of mongrels.

A viewer obviously a victim of the latest raids by chidambaram gets up and says “One thing about Chidambaram. Nobody can say his bite is worser than his bark.” Barkha chides him amidst thunderous ovation from the audience. A bearded professor from JNU joins issue with the man and quotes statistics to show that while inflation was at an historic 4 % during NDA rule it is only 6 % during UPA rule. Chidambaram joins the debate and says inflation at 502 % in Uruguay and 459 % in Uganda.

Karunanidhi meanwhile comes on the satellite link and rattles figures about actual prices in Tamilnadu. He quotes figures that shows that prices have halved over the last one year. “Cho” Ramaswamy explains to the audience the cause for the fall – while the first list is in Indian Ruppee the second is in American dollars. A frustrated man in the audience asks “how will he justify next year if prices rise still further”. Cho replies he can always switch over to Euro and then British Pounds. Jayanthi Natarajan adds her bit to the discussion and says that Sonia has written a letter to the Prime Minister on the need to reduce prices and it is the fault of fundamental forces that prices have risen.

Rajasekhara Reddy replaces karunanidhi on the link and lectures about how Eenadu Ramoji Rao is the cause for the inflation and how he plans to close down all newspapers. When questioned on how that would reduce inflation he explains that if you do not get papers you would not know how much inflation was in the last week. Meanwhile a commercial break is announced.

After the break Rakesh Jhunjunwala is interviewed. He says that the sure way to bring down Consumer Price Index (CPI) is to announce a derivative on that. That way atleast the CPI would go up and down like a yoyo or the nifty everytime the FIIs sneeze. A viewer asks jhunjunwala what are his views on a set of stocks. Other viewers who have come from kalahandi and haven’t seen solid food in their forty years of existence pounce on him.

Meanwhile H D Kumaraswamy comes on the sat link and explains that in Karnataka every section would independently go on strike in protest of the price hike for the next 40 days so that no work would be done during those days. Asked how that would help inflation, he explained that by the end of the marathon strike nobody would have money to buy anything and that would be a better way to reduce free money in the economy than any other measure that the RBI governor can think of.

CNN-IBN meanwhile does an investigative report on how dog food manufacturers have bribed senior congress leaders. CBI director when quizzed says that that he will file a fodder scam like case on Chidambaram as soon as the court orders the same on a PIL or if the Government changes and NDA comes to power. He says that Chidambaram would be hounded (pun not intended) out of office. He also assures that finally Chidambaram will be acquitted on lack of evidence.

Cho snidely comments to chidambaram “it’s a dog eats dog world.” Chidambaram explains at the end of it all that it was a minor comment and too much has been read into it by the media. “It is a case of the tail wagging the dog” he comments on media power and says he is sick as a dog about the whole issue. Jayanthi Natarajan burying the deep fight she has with Chidambaram asks the media to call off the dogs. Jayalalitha wants to know why Chidambaram shifted the focus from Thirukkural to the street dog and announces that the minority DMK government should resign because of the damage done to the tamil Psyche.

The “aam aadmi”, the common man is least worried about all this. He says his salary is Rs.3,000 and every month I have been spending only that so how can my expenditure go up.

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